Castle on a mountain.
One night, Amelia went into a deep sleep and had the most vivid and realistic dream of her life. She and her family lived in the elegant castle on the top of the mountain and ruled over all of the land they could see. Her bed enveloped her and the canopy above her head was made of the most beautiful woven cloth she had ever seen.
She sat up and immediately a woman scurried over to her and asked, "Good morning, your majesty. Would you like to fetch you some water?"
Amelia was beyond confused and overwhelmed. Just when she thought things could not get any weirder, her mother walked into the room wearing a gown and dripping in priceless jewelry.
"Hello, darling. I hope you slept well! We have a busy day ahead of us. The girls will get you ready and tell you about the appointments you have today." Before Amelia could respond, her mother was floating out the door. Dozens of women swarmed her and started to prepare her for her "busy day," whatever that mean! Amelia had millions of questions, starting off with "Where am I?"
One of the younger girls seemed confused and responded with a shy, "Your castle, your majesty."
Amelia immediately realized that she was the queen of the mountain!
The day went by in a blur, with hundreds of villagers coming in to the castle speak to the queen herself. At the end of the day, the new queen lay in bed and shut her eyes. That night she dreamt about a quaint life in a village. She and her parents worked in a field from dawn until dusk, but Amelia had never been happier.
Author's Note: My story is based off of the chapter called "The Vanishing Wife." The main character Buite was very unhappy and one night had a dream; and the next day when he woke up, it was true! This idea for a story reminded me of the movie "Bedtime Stories," but it is obviously more historical. It can create a plethora of unique stories, but that all focus on the same theme. I noticed that this magical power to dream something to life was recurring in the Stories from Congo, and I wanted to memorialize this. I decided to end the story with an interpretive ending, meaning the reader can make what they want of it. I didn't want to have to decide whether Amelia was dreaming the entire time, because, in my opinion, that is not important. Many stories are open for complete interpretation, but this one has a basic plot. Dreaming is a very interesting topic of conversation and in stories so I am glad that I got to share this story with you.
Richard Edward Dennett's Stories from Congo "The Vanishing Wife"
I immediately loved the main character and wanted her family to be successful, so that's a great thing. The entire story was really endearing and fairytale-like. The imagery was really strong and you used really good descriptive words, which helped me imagine her mom and her room as being very grand. You did a great job leaving the ending open so that we can decide what we think happened. I was surprised that this was based off of The Vanishing Wife, because I also wrote based on that story, but once I read that it totally clicked! That was a really creative way to use the original story, but within a new story. I thought that was very cool and innovative.
ReplyDeleteI know you said you wanted your last paragraph to be interpretable but it was more confusing to me than anything. I think you could still work on the interpretation bit but clear up the last paragraph a little if you lengthened it with a little bit more of what happened after that first day. I think you could still have it fade into a dream but just have it a bit less abrupt and the end wouldn't be so jolting. I liked your take on the story though and especially that it had a nice ending. I like the picture too. It's Neuschwanstein I believe? It's pretty topical sense that castle's on a really big hill and it's so gorgeous. It certainly would feel like a dream to wake up in there.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I love the photo you used. I have a photo of that castle hanging on the wall in my kitchen and it's been there ever since I was a baby. It's beautiful! I love to imagine that that's where the story took place, how cool! I think you did a great job at making this story your own and I like the interpretive ending. Awesome!
ReplyDeleteI think you did a great job with this story. You showed how much they struggled and reading through it made it very clear that they had to work very hard every day to survive. At first, I was confused as soon as the story ended. It wasn’t really clear if she was just dreaming or not. After reading the author’s note, it makes more sense now as to why you kept the ending like that. Overall, I thought your story was really interesting!
ReplyDeleteI think you did a good job story telling the plot and introducing the character. I thought for a moment Amelia was struck with amnesia due to her lack of knowledge about her whereabouts. I see that the story is intended to leave the reader open for their own interpretation, but I would try to find some way to still guide the readers through the story and leave the ending open.
ReplyDeleteI really like this story, it reminds me of books about princesses I used to read when I was a child. I think this is a classic story, child born into a family that doesn't have much and child wants more for herself. It reminds me of one of the stories of Arthur's knights I just read! I think you wrote this really well, with a lot of descriptive features, which made it nice to read :)
ReplyDeleteI was afraid I was the only to read stories from the Congo. I’m happy to see that I’m not. It can get quite lonely in no man’s land. I thought your story was wonderful and something that I could easily see Disney being able to use it for the basis of one of their movies (A Congo princess, I’m all for it!). I only saw one little hiccup. You wrote mean, but I think you meant for you to right ‘meant’…Well, if that wasn’t a tongue twister.
ReplyDeleteThis is a classic story of appreciate what you have or you don't know what you've got till it's gone. A lot of the time, we take for granted the small pleasures that life gives us when we should be taking the time to embrace them. You did a great job of conveying that. I also think it was sweet that the girl was dreaming of a better life not for herself, but for her parents who were struggling financially and medically. That really showed what kind of heart she had. I have to wonder, since her last dream was of her, her mom and her dad back in the village working the fields, did things go back to normal? Or will she forever be Queen of the mountain? Hmmmm
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your story! It was very easy to follow and understand. I think you wrote about something that happens daily. There a lot of children born into families that do not have a lot and often dream of having a better life. Kids also see the troubles between their parents. I think parents think kids are obvious to what occurs when kids know the most usually! Great Story
ReplyDeleteHi Bradlee! I saw the title, “Dream of a Queen” and I was immediately curious to see what exactly your story was about. I am really glad that Amelia dream was kind of a happy ending and became a queen. I always like when these stories have a happy ending! I think your blog in general looks great and I think you did a wonderful job this semester!
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